Metal Gear Kids!
by Solid Hamster
Summary: The fate of the world rests on the shoulders of one kindergartener....Solid Snake! Can he stop Tricycle Gear before it's too late?!
1. Default Chapter

One day, on a Metal Gear fansite, three warriors joined forces and created an epic saga.  
The three were Ollie Raiden, Nikita Coyote (MEE!), and WoalieMan.   
With his grant of permission, Ollie, the beginner of the project, handed down the tale to Coyote.  
Nikita Coyote then took the alias "Solid Hamster" and posted the epic for all of fanfiction.net to see it's splendor...of sorts...   
  
I hereby bring to you bring to you...  
  
METAL GEAR KIDS!  
~By Nikita "Solid Hamster" Coyote, Ollie Raiden and WoalieMan~  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
~Coyote (that's mee!! Woo-hooo!)~  
  
Meryl: Snake, let's play house!   
Snake: EWW! No! House is a girl's game!   
(Runs away)   
Meryl: Poo-head! Nyaa!   
  
---Ten minutes later---   
  
(Snake is walking by himself when suddenly Liquid runs up holding a toy Hind-D and starts circling him)   
Liquid: WOOOSH!!!   
Snake: ...What are you doing?   
Liquid: I'M CIRCLING YOU, BROTHER!! BETTER TAKE COVER!!! AHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAAA!!!   
Snake: Go away, Liquid!! Stop bothering me!!   
(Snake trips Liquid, steals his toy Hind-D, and bolts)   
Liquid: MIIINE!!! SOMEDAY YOU'RE GOING DOWN, SNAKE, ALONG WITH THIS PLAYGROUND!!!   
  
---meanwhile---   
  
Meryl: Hey, Mei-Ling, have you seen Rosie? I wanna play house!   
Mei-Ling: Nope, but I did make this really cool calculator! Wanna see?   
Meryl: No.   
Mei-Ling: Fine, whatever, I'm gonna go to the swing-set!   
(Mei-Ling runs off and Meryl continues her search for Rose)   
  
Mei-Ling: ...Gee, it's awfully quiet...   
(Mei-Ling approaches the swing-set, but suddenly notices some strange-looking mittens with shoe-laces attached to them)   
Mei-Ling: What? Somebody left their mittens!! Maybe they're coming back...?   
(An all-too-familiar-shadow looms behind Mei-Ling)   
???: Right! Touch my swing and the mittens will blow-up!! AHAHAHAHAAA!!!   
Mei-Ling: Hey!! You can't reserve a swing!! They belong to everyone!!!   
Ocelot: --And what are you going to do about it, you little sissy?!   
Mei-Ling: I...I'll.......WAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!   
(Mei-Ling throws her calculator at Ocelot and runs away to tell on him)   
Ocelot: Hrmph! TATTLE-TALE!!   
  
--------------  
  
(Snake, still holding the Hind-D toy he snatched from Liquid, runs up to Campbell)   
  
Snake: Mission accomplished! Here you go!   
(hands Campbell the toy)   
Campbell: Thanks! When Liquid stole it from me, he threatened to bury it in the sandbox!! I was really worried!!   
Snake: Yeah, that's where he usually hangs out, along with that Ocelot kid!   
  
---meanwhile---   
  
Rose: Jack!! Me and Meryl are playing house! Come play with us!!   
Jack: No!   
Rose and Meryl: PLEEEEEASEEEE!!!   
Jack: NOOOOOO!   
Rose: All you ever think about is yourself!! I've always been alone thanks to you!!! GOOD-BYE!!!   
Jack: ...Huh?   
  
-------   
  
(Snake is walking down the hallway, when suddenly he hears yelling. He runs around the corner to see a mysterious kid in a halloween ninja costume)   
Snake: WHO ARE YOU?!   
???: I'm like you, ...I have no name.   
Snake: What?   
???: Never mind! Let's fight!!   
If I win, you fork-over your lunch-money!!   
Snake: You're on, butt-head!!   
( Snake and the mysterious nondescript engage in battle. Liquid walks around the corner and sees them fighting.)   
Liquid: COOOOOOOOOL!!! A FIGHT!!!!!!!!!   
A FIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
(everybody hears Liquid and crowds around Snake and the ninja as they continue fighting.)   
???: ONLY A WUSS TRUSTS HIS LIFE TO A WEAPON!!   
( Suddenly, the ninja kid starts screaming and screeching and runs away)   
???: M-MY MEDICATION!!!!!! MUST...TAKE!!!! EYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!   
(the Ninja then runs into the clinic. Everybody gets dissappointed and leaves Snake by himself.)   
Snake: ...What just happened.....?   
(suddenly a strange noise comes from a nearby locker)   
Snake: Huh--? Who's there?   
(Snake opens the locker and out falls a scrawny kid with glasses)   
???: THANKS!! YOU SAVED MY LIFE!!!   
Snake: Yuck, you went wee-wee!   
???: ACK!! Don't tell anybody!! PLEASE!!   
Snake: I won't. Who are you?   
???: I'm Hal-- err....Otacon!! That's right!! Otacon!!   
Snake: ...Otacon...?   
Otacon: You know...Otaku Convention...   
Snake: Umm...whatever....   
So why was that ninja kid after you?   
Otacon: I found out that Liquid and Ocelot are planning to build a fort in Naomi's back-yard and try to take-over the playground! If that happens, nobody will ever be safe in the playground ever again!!   
Snake: Poop! We've gotta stop them!!   
...but why Naomi's back-yard?   
Otacon: I don't know, but I think that kid in that halloween ninja suit tried to stop me from spreading the word.   
Snake: ...Well, what do you have in mind to stop them?   
Otacon: I have a tree-house!! That can be our base!!   
Snake: "Our" base? So I'm already a member, huh?   
Otacon: We need a name.....   
How bout Philanthropy?   
Snake: Phila-what? Umm, okay, sure.   
Otacon: We gotta rally members!! C'mon!   
  
~WoalieMan~  
  
Snake: Hey, what about this guy?   
(Otacon & Snake walk up to Raiden)   
Snake: Hi, kid. What's your name?   
Raiden: Ugh....Raiden   
Snake: Hmmmph. That's a weird name.   
(Snake studies Raiden)   
Otacon: Hi   
(Otacon blushes)   
Otacon: I like you   
(Raiden looks confused)   
Raiden: WHAT!?!?!   
Otacon: You're pretty   
Raiden: IM A BOY!!!!!!   
(Raiden runs off crying, Otacon looks embarrassed and runs off crying too)   
Snake: ...oooook....   
(Snake finds Raiden)   
Raiden: Go away!   
Snake: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I want to know if you want to join me and my friends SECRET CLUB!!!!!!   
(Raiden stops crying and stares at Snake)   
Raiden: Secret, huh?   
Snake: yeah, It's called....ugh.... Philanthropy....or...somethin'   
Raiden: Ewwww! A secret club for Feeling Ants and Trophies! Yuck.....   
Snake(angry):Ugh... No, it's called PHILANTROPHY . ONE WORD.   
Raiden: Feeling Ant & Trophies and Then birds!?!?!   
Snake: oh, you're such a poohead.   
Raiden(upset): WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!   
(Snake slaps Raiden)   
Snake: JUST JOIN. We want to stop Liquid and Ocelot from taking over the playgound.   
Raiden: Join, huh? Alright.   
Snake: YEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!! Otacon! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER! YAaaaaaaAAAAayy!   
(Snake, Raiden and Otacon stop. They hear a noise.)   
Raiden: What was that?   
Snake: I don't know.   
Otacon(scared): I hope it's not that ninja again.. Eeeee.   
(Otacon runs away and suddenly, from the shadows, out jumps a mysterious kid, wearing a coat and pants. He has a stick. He grabs Snake from behind in a headlock and puts the stick to his throat)   
???: Hissssssss   
Snake(to Raiden): What are you waiting for! Throw something at him!   
Raiden: Hehehe He's NOT WEARING A TOP! AHAHAHAAHAHAHA   
Snake: *sighs*   
???: Hmmm, strange smell. You smell like.....AAAAAWWWWWWW JEEEZ YOU FARTED!!!!!!!! AHAHAHA heeeeeeeeee heeeee!!!! Peeeeooow!   
(Raiden grabs a stick off of the ground and aims it at ???)   
Raiden: Don't move or i'll throw it!   
Snake: Finally!   
???: Let's go.   
(Raiden throws the stick at ??? and ??? dodges it inhumanly fast. He stops, laughs and pushes Snake onto the ground, cutting his arm.)   
Snake: Owwwww! My arm! WWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHH!   
???: haha *sticks out tongue and jumps away*   
Raiden: Who or what was that thing!??!   
Snake: His name's Vamp. He's from down the road, a wizard with sticks as you saw.   
Raiden: Are you gunna be ok?   
Snake(being brave): Yeah. Just give me a few minutes.   
(Snake pulls a lollipop out of his pocket and sticks it in his mouth)   
Snake: It soothes the pain.   
Raiden: You're so brave.   
Snake: Yeah, I know. Go, go find Otacon. The kid with the glasses and the white coat.   
Raiden: Whit coat, huh? What if i need to contact you?   
Snake: Here-   
(Snake hands him a cup with some string on the end)   
Raiden: Huh?   
Snake: Talk into the cup. I'll be able to hear you with my cup.   
(Snake holds up his cup, the two cups are joined by string)   
Raiden: Ok. Bye bye.   
(He turns and walks off. He realizes   
something and then turns and runs to Snake)   
Raiden: Wait a minute. I dont know your name!   
Snake. My name is S.....My name is Pliskin. Iroquios Pliskin. Kindergarten Junior Grade.   
Raiden: Kindergarten, huh? I'm goin' next year.   
Snake: Cool. Now go.   
(Raiden leaves Snake. Snake holds his sore arm and picks up a cup he wispers to Otacon about his false name)   
  
------TO BE CONTINUED------   
  
What did ya think?! You like/hate/despise?! 


	2. Yapt! That there is a Philanthropy all r...

One day, on a Metal Gear fansite, three warriors joined forces and created an epic saga.  
The three were Ollie Raiden, Nikita Coyote (MEE!), and WoalieMan.   
With his grant of permission, Ollie, the beginner of the project, handed down the tale to Coyote.  
Nikita Coyote then took the alias "Solid Hamster" and posted the epic for all of fanfiction.net to see it's splendor...of sorts...   
  
I hereby bring to you bring to you...  
  
METAL GEAR KIDS!  
Part 2  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
~Coyote~  
  
---meanwhile, another strange kid is walking through the playground...---   
  
(a kid wearing a strange power-rangers-like costume without a helmet is being observed by other fearful children)   
  
Campbell: I don't like the looks of this, better tell Snake...   
Baker: I heard he purposely flunked to stay in kindergarten and pick on us...   
Anderson: Yeah, and that he's super-intelligent and wants to grow-up o be either a zebra or the president!   
Johnson: I'm smarter!!   
Baker: Go away, preschooler!   
Johnson: Jerk-face! You'll see!!   
(Johnson runs away)   
Campbell: this is really serious, I better go, see all of you later!   
  
---At the tree-house---   
  
Snake: ...It's kind-of empty....   
Otacon: Well, actually, I made-up the "take-over-the-playground-thing"...   
Snake: What the heck?   
Raiden: YOU SAID A BAAAD WORD!!!   
Otacon: You see, there is going to be this school party and there's going to be different events and whatnot. The three-legged race is tomorrow and...   
Snake: and--?   
Otacon: ...erm...wellll....I want Wolf to team-up with me, but I need help!   
(Snake and Raiden look up in shock)   
Snake and Raiden: OTACON AN WOLF SITTIN IN A TREE   
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!!!   
Otacon: SHUT-UP WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!   
  
---the next day---   
  
(Ocelot and Liquid are teaming up for the three-legged race)   
  
Liquid: Soon, veangence will be mine!!!   
Ocelot: I need someone to tie this rope, though...   
  
(Ocelot sees the preschooler, Pierre, and becons him to come)   
  
Pierre: What?   
Ocelot: Tie this rope, shrimp, or I'll bite your nose off!!   
Pierre: EEP!!!   
(Pierre ties the rope and runs off, crying)   
Liquid, Okay, now for a test-run!!   
  
(Ocelot and Liquid run, but trip all over each other)   
  
Liquid: FOOL! IF I TEAM UP WITH YOU, I'LL LOSE!!   
Ocelot: WHAT?! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S MESSING ME UP!!   
Liquid: THAT'S IT, I'M UNTYING US!!   
Ocelot: FINE WITH ME!!   
  
(Liquid tries to untie the knot, but fails)   
  
Liquid: I-it won't even come loose!!   
Ocelot: WHAT?! You ninny!!   
(Ocelot tries in a futile attempt to untie the knot himself)   
  
Liquid: Who's the ninny now?!   
Ocelot: ...Never trust a French-kid...   
Liquid: We gotta find someone with scrssors!!   
(Liquid looks up and sees none other than Snake! Snake, at the moment has snuck-up on Raiden and is about to cut his hair with a pair of scissors!!)   
  
Liquid: SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!   
  
(Snake wips around to see a silhouette of a two-headed figure)   
  
Snake: What the heck...?   
Raiden: Huh? (turns around) Pliskin, why did that guy just call you Snake?   
Snake: I have no idea, honestly!   
Raiden: ...And what are you doing with a pair of scissors?   
Snake: Nothing in particular. Hy, go talk to those kids over there!!   
Raiden: ...Why?   
Snake: JUST GO!   
Raiden: Whyyyyyy???   
  
(Snake is too late! Liquid and Ocelot have already made it up to them!)   
  
Snake: What do you want?!   
Liquid: Brother! Only you can release me!   
Ocelot: Please!! Just cut the rope! I promise I won't be mean to anyone ever again! Please!! Just get him away from me!!!   
Snake: No.   
Liquid: Not up to it, eh, Snake?!   
Hm?....Who is that girl...?   
Raiden: SNAKE?! PLISKIN!! ARE YOU THE SNAKE??!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN TIME-OUT!!   
Snake: No, not me, I still have things I have to do!   
  
To be continued!=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= 


	3. Tricycle Gear!

One day, on a Metal Gear fansite, three warriors joined forces and created an epic saga.  
The three were Ollie Raiden, Nikita Coyote (MEE!), and WoalieMan.   
With his grant of permission, Ollie, the beginner of the project, handed down the tale to Coyote.  
Nikita Coyote then took the alias "Solid Hamster" and posted the epic for all of fanfiction.net to see it's splendor...of sorts...   
  
I hereby bring to you bring to you...  
  
METAL GEAR KIDS!  
Part 3  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
~WoalieMan~  
  
(Snake and Liquid glare at eachother)   
Snake & Liquid: Grrrr.   
Raiden: I'm hungry   
Ocelot: Shhhhhh   
(Liquid yells and runs into....   
  
TRICYCLE GEAR   
A giant Tricycle equipped with Many MANY water guns, it's grey and about 6ft. tall.   
  
  
He sits of the seat, with Ocelot on the co-pilot's seat.)   
Liquid: CMon, Snake!   
Snake: Ahhhhhhhhhhh!   
(Raiden watches in amazment as Snake grabs a Super Soaker and runs at Liquid in Tricycle Gear)   
Snake(to Otacon over cups): Otacon! How am i gunna stop this thing!   
Otacon(replies): Take out the windscreen! Liquid won't be able to see!   
Snake: Ok...   
(Snake runs and fires a good litre of water, he misses though and sprays the top, causing electric currents)   
Liquid: Haha Nya :P   
(Liquid fires 10 litres of water at Snake, Snake falls to the ground in a pool of water. He doesn't move. Meryl, Rose and Mei Ling all stop playing house and come and watch)   
Meryl: Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!   
Mei Ling: You didnt save enough!   
Rose: Jack! Do something!!!!!   
Raiden: Nah, i'm just gunna watch. Go Snaaaaaaaake!   
Otacon: Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake! Oh dear... use this!   
(Otacon throws Snake a lollypop. Snake moves slighty and then grabs it and begins to suck. Suddenly he jumps up)   
Snake:Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!   
Liquid: Give it all you've got, brother.   
(Snake fires at the windscreen but again misses)   
Snake: Poo!   
Everyone but Snake: AHAHA YOU SAID POOO!   
(Snake then notices he has hit a round thingy on the side. It seems to have made it harder for Liquid to control TG)   
Snake: I've got it!   
(He pulls the trigger....no water)   
Snake: WaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaH!   
Liquid: Ahahaha!   
(The wheel of TG lowers over Snake. Suddenly a strange figure appears)   
Ninja- Hiiiiiiyyyyyyaaaaaaaaa!   
(The ninja pushes Snake out of the way, he jumps up and slices the round thingy with his toy sword.)   
Snake: You saved me. And you destroyed the round thingy!   
Ninja: Snake....I'm...   
Snake: You know my name?   
Raiden: AHA! YOU ARE SNAKE!   
Everyone: DUUUUUUUUUH!   
Raiden: DUUUUUUUUUUH!, huh?   
Ninja: It's me   
(Ninja takes off his mask)   
Snake: GREY FOX! But you moved!   
Ninja: ah, yes, but i have a tricycle of my own! Snake! The windscreen will open up now! Hit your brother! He'll get all wet and yucky!   
Snake: Can you help me?   
Ninja: No, sorry, I have to go have lunch! Bye Snake!   
Snake: Poo.   
Liquid: Ahhhhhhhhh! You'll go nap-nap for that, SNAAAAAAAKE!!!!   
( Liquid unleashes a large rattle for the top of TG, it flies at Snake's head)   
Snake: Poop.   
(A strange figure jumps in front, the rattle evades her and hits Raiden)   
Raiden: Ow!   
(Snake looks at this mystery woman)   
Fortune: Bring it on, Liquid.   
Liquid: Poop! She cant be hit by sticks, stones OR rattles!   
(Ocelot finally breaks free of the rope and jumps down to Fortune)   
Ocelot: You have nothing I didnt give you!   
Fortune: Come again?   
Ocelot: You're being shielded by electromagnetic technology!   
Everyone: Electro-magnetic whatsa whoosie??!?!?!   
Ocelot: *sigh*   
(Ocelot presses a button and shoots Fortune with a water gun)   
Fortune: But...   
(SHe slumps, wet and hurt from the torrent of water)   
Fortune: THESE ARE GOOD CLOTHES! WaaaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHH!   
(Fortune runs off.)   
Snake: Ha!   
(He is spraying TG with a hose. It is made of cardboard. TG is just cradboard on a tricycle.)   
Liquid: Oh dear! You've seen through TG's brilliant disquise!   
(Big Boss comes storming out)   
Big Boss: What's all this then! Solidus told me you were all fighting! LIIIIIIIIIIQUID!   
Liquid: Oh no. It's just a game, Father!   
Snake: Father, Liquid tried to ruin my good clothes!   
Raiden: He hit me with a rattle!   
Big Boss: That's it! Liquid! You're on TIMEOUT! NAP time young man!   
Liquid: Nooooooooooooo!   
Big Boss: Everyone! Go home! Snake, you're in trouble too!   
Snake: WaaaaaaaaaAAAH!   
(everyone leaves, Snake and Liquid are left)   
Big Boss: Now, boys, you dont see Solidus doing any of this do you! HUH?!   
Snake & Liquid: No, father.   
Big Boss: Now, both of you! Go to your rooms, or there won't be any child soldier training for either of you!   
Snake & Liquid(verry upset) : Yes, father   
(Snake and Liquid go to there rooms)   
  
-----The EnD?------ 


End file.
